The Waiting Game.10:32 PM
As I type up this post at a very round 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant, I feel both jittery and at ease. My mind is constantly wandering towards that due date on the horizon. The anxiety of not knowing - having no control over the where and when - is messing with my mind a bit, and I've been trying to focus on shrugging it off to keep myself sane.
At my obgyn appt last week, I had started to dilate and efface and felt like I had just been told for the first time that I am, indeed, going to be having a baby! I know that sounds silly, but that was quite the reality check....and I was pretty dang excited that things were starting to happen. I was hyper-focused on my work, which made for quite an intense and exhausting week since I felt like I could maybe go into labor any minute. The appointment today revealed little change from last week, so that was a mega downer...but there's always a silver lining to everything. Lesson learned? I'm letting go and letting God take the reigns from here on out. He will protect the growing babe in my tummy, making sure she has everything she needs to thrive on the outside. All I have to do is be patient while we wait to meet this little miracle!
Despite being spammed with articles on "How to induce labor naturally" and "Has your baby arrived yet?!" on my pregnancy tracking apps, I've resolved to let this little lady call the shots and come when she's ready. I'm ready to meet this babe who is contorting my belly into the oddest pointy shapes and enjoys using my bladder like her own personal bean bag chair, but I also want to savor these last few weeks of it being just her and I, just John and I. I know everything is about to change, and it's just a matter of how and when...but for now, I suppose I'm just happy to be floating in the in between.
Anyways, I find myself wandering into the nursery (Miles following in tow, natch) at the end of the day, plopping down in the rocker, and dreaming of all the little moments we'll be creating as a family within those 4 walls in just a few short weeks...or days, who knows. A room that, while not perfect or even necessarily 'blog worthy', was assembled with love. The furniture was assembled by a doting dad-to-be who I could barely watch put together everything without turning into a sentimental sap, the majority of books are much loved hand-me-downs from my mom's and my childhood with sweet love scribbles in them, family heirlooms that were a part of John and my homes growing up, and picture frames filled with loved ones faces, thrifted treasures, and inside jokes. Ready for your homecoming when you are, Ghibbibibbi. XO
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